In Pursuit of His Wisdom

God’s gift of understanding–of suddenly and finally grasping some purpose for the present circumstance–it’s not always easy. In some cases it may even be heart-breaking. For me personally, some of my soul’s most fragile moments were in “The Waiting”.

Maybe it’s the realization that you are losing someone that you love. Maybe it’s Yourself that you realize you have lost.

God calls all of His children. His love surpasses the deepest ocean and the brightest star. If we love the Lord and follow Him faithfully, He is certain to deliver us from our brokenness, and again fill our hearts with hope and joy.

The difficulty of this life is so often in The Waiting.

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroad? Where the path of your life divides, and you must choose which direction you will follow into the future? That point of divide is what I like to call ” THE WAITING PLACE “.

In the waiting place you pray for God’s guidance, for hope and healing, and you wait. Sometimes it feels like God is almost silent in those times, as you beg, and even plead for the answer. You just want to move forward. You ask for signs. God may give them, but our interpretation is only complete in hindsight.

Although it may feel as if God is silent, that absolutely does not mean that He is not spiritually and almost tangibly present. God is holding your hand during those times which can often feel like an eternity. He is teaching you one of the most valuable lessons you will ever learn–Patience through Faith.

Surrendering control and truly giving God the future and direction of your entire life is not a one time ordeal. For me personally, it was and is something that must be repeated, it must be practiced.

In the beginning it is quite difficult. Over the course of days and weeks, anxiety and restlessness slowly creep, ever so quietly, back into Your spirit; again you are grasping for control. And again there you arrive, seemingly right back where you started before Your soul’s complete surrender. Again you sacrifice your place as captain, and again let go of your control.

This is the cycle of “The Waiting Place”. It repeats itself, and with each surrender you journey deeper and closer to the Heart of Christ. Eventually you realize that all worry and doubt has disappeared from your soul. Your faith has grown deeply. No matter what comes or goes, God will see you through it. His ways are better than any plan, hope, or dream that you could ever plan for your own life.

Truly experiencing this faith and security, day in and day out, the enduring peace of heart and mind; it is invaluable. No sacrifice could be too high of a cost for that eternal hope and peace and joy. Knowing with every fiber of my being that I am in the Hands of the Almighty Father, and this Earth is not my Home. It truly is a peace that surpasses all understanding.

So, to conclude–“The Waiting Place”-is it miserable? Yes. Is it reigned by hopelessness, and regrets, and by a tug-of-war for control? Yes. It is hard, and it feels never-ending in that place. After spending the better of 2 years there in the dark, waiting for God’s guidance, out of nowhere and just in time, the answer came. God doesn’t make mistakes, and His world is not measured in time or space. He is the owner of moments. Make this moment His alone.

Just remember, Your time in “The Waiting Place” is never wasted if you are waiting there with the Father.

2 Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

James 1:2-6 NIV

23 Then He said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?”

Luke 9:23-25 NIV

Life is an ever-changing kaleidoscope of time and experiences. Rotating, intermingling, spinning in moments. Those moments are beauty. Rainbows. It is the movement of the kaleidoscope that churns our day to day. Ever turning. Ever changing. One puzzle becomes another in the fraction of a second. In the blink of an eye.

How can life move so swiftly, yet the day seem so slow? We are formed by each moment. Every breath plays into our soul. Every moment, every feeling, every thought. God You know this heart, You hold this soul.